3 Ways to Build Meaningful Relationships on Facebook Dating

As a psychologist and dating coach, I’m excited about the upcoming new platform of Facebook Dating!  Since Facebook is already habitually the go-to spot for most people to maintain long-lasting connections, I think it’ll be a natural place to form dating matches as well.  There are many reasons this will be advantageous but for now, here are three:

1-      Facebook has Massive Amounts of Personal Data with Which to Match You– Most people have been on Facebook a long while and they have liked things, joined groups, promoted causes, commented and shared status reports about the things that are important to them.  Although we don’t know Facebook’s secret sauce or algorithm, it seems plausible that with their experience and data science team they will develop the ability to create meaningful matches.

2-      Facebook Dating is Looking to Create Meaningful Relationships not Hookups– This was shared by the Facebook team as their objective and so many singles have reported to me that they are looking for a space that focuses upon authentic dating and relationships.  Some initial ways that Facebook Dating will do this is to bypass swiping yes and no to prospects and to have users scroll down past the profile and pictures of a prospect so that they can take in the information about who they are and consider it before making a decision instead of just acting on impulse or superficial first impressions.

3-      You Can Use Shared Interests & Events to Meet Like-Minded Singles– Sometimes online dating can feel stilted but Facebook Dating will offer the ability to check out whose single at an Event that you’re going to, which seems more organic.  Also, you’ll have the ability to see which singles follow the same causes and interests as you. This can promote a heart-based connection and deeper conversations from the start.

I look forward to sharing more advantages to Facebook Dating.  Stay tuned…



Facebook Dating: From Impulse to Consideration

Facebook Dating is soon coming to the US and one of the things that Facebook’s dating product manager Nathan Sharp has shared about this new dating platform is, ‘…We wanted a system that emphasizes consideration over impulse.’  This is music to my ears because it’s one of the things that I regularly encourage my dating coaching clients to do.

My first dating book, ‘Dating from the Inside Out,’ published by Atria Books emphasized how important it is to know who you are in deeper ways so that you can attract a match to that core energy.  My approach eschews superficial ego-based lists of ‘your type’ and encourages people to look more deeply and to examine their shared interests, values and the essential inner qualities that they most want in a partner.  Then soul mates will attract each other at that level which is sustainable- as long as there’s attraction- and the package that person comes in might surprise them.

Other ways that you can be thoughtful in dating are:

–  give dating prospects several chances so that you can both get to know one another rather than to make snap judgments.

Consider unlocking your respective Facebook profiles to learn about that person over time within the context of their friends, family and interests

Be honest about who you are and who your date is from the start.  Facebook Dating plans to have users put their real names and ages.  There will be an optional place for height, religion, job title, where you work, where you went to school and whether you have kids, as well as additional information you put in your dating profile.  This is not a good platform on which to hide. Facebook hopes to avoid Catfishing or luring people into a relationship with a fictitious profile. This way, daters can build trust with one another from the start.

Many dating experts promote playing games and doing what ‘the opposite sex likes’ instead of being who you really are.  I have always thought that, ‘Like attracts like,’ so if you want a healthy, long-lasting relationship then the litmus test is to reveal your true self and to see who is a match for it.  Facebook dating has promising elements that mirror this philosophy in action, in virtual timeJ

Looking forward to sharing more about it soon,



5 Safety Advantages of Facebook Dating

Some people have reported being worried about the safety of their data on the new Facebook Dating platform.  Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg has said, ‘We’ve designed this with privacy and safety in mind from the beginning.

1- Dating is Separate from Your Immediate Community– Your friends won’t see your profile and you’re only suggested to people who aren’t your friends.

2- Your personal Facebook profile and your Dating profile are separate.  You’d have to manually unlock your personal profiles, events or groups.

3- You Can Report Bad Conduct or Fake Profiles– If you report a problem with a dater to Facebook and its proven true, there’s a team of people who can respond to it and could even kick that person off of the Facebook platform entirely.

4- Messaging is Straightforward and Text-Based– It takes place in chat threads that don’t allow attachments or pictures so there will be no nude or lewd pictures exchanged.

5 –No Ongoing Harassment or Stalking– If you say no to a dating prospect they can’t continue to harass you and message you.

So, hopefully, that answers some of your initial concerns about this.  More to come…