As a psychologist who specializes in dating, I often hear how difficult it can be to be single during the holidays. It can be tough not have that special someone during those celebrations but sometimes the hardest is the family pressure and all the questions people can ask about your love-life during these gatherings. So, just in case this applies to you too, here are some tips for dealing with this:
- If people ask you why you’re still single, tell them about your life and what you’ve been focusing on. Remind them that you are not more valuable as a, ‘plus one,’ and that you have a great full life.
- Practice your own positive self-talk. The only opinion that really matters is your own, so remind yourself that you’re wonderful. Tell yourself that you’ll meet someone when the time is right and think about all the ways that you are loveable. People can only push buttons that are already there so if you feel loving about yourself that will come through.
- Find positive role models. It can help to think about all the amazing single women that you know and admire. Maybe they’re passionate about their career, travel, their circle of creative friends or hobbies. You belong to this group and thinking about that will make you smile, even if others don’t get it.
- Set boundaries. Just because people are friends or family does not mean that they can meddle deeply into parts of your life that you’d rather not discuss. You can just firmly and politely say that you’d rather not be asked about dating right now and leave it at that.
- Change the subject. When asked about your love life, you can say, ‘I’m not seeing anyone right now but I do have news about ______.’ Hopefully, they will get the hint and will talk about that instead.
- Celebrate the holidays with your single friends who understand. It helps to have a group of like-minded friends around you so make another special time to party it up with them and to celebrate your singlehood and freedom.
I hope you have Happy Holidays full of love!
Paulette